


It Hurts

by theSilentium



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/M, Immortality, Murder, Torture, mention of desire to die, psychotic reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:27:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29430249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theSilentium/pseuds/theSilentium
Summary: Request: I loved your song fic “Folded messages” so much, and I saw u said we could send. I decided to give it a shot :”) obviously don’t feel obligated to do it, I’ll respect if u don’t want to ☺️☺️ I am sucker for old songs, and I think they fit so well with 5. I was wondering if a 5 fic with the song “Can’t take my eyes off of you” would be possible. I don’t rly have a plot in mind, maybe when Five meets reader in commission, or just somewhere between S1 or S2. I apologize if this is too general :”)
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy)/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	It Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> I know the song was out in 1967 and that it wasn’t out when the fic take place, but let’s forget about that detail, okay? Okay. Dear anon, I’m sure you wanted fluff, but I don’t know, I can’t really explain myself. It just happened.

As the ultimate warm breath of your latest victim escaped her mouth, the pain flashing through your entire body intensified until you found yourself falling on your knees. Every nerve in your body was ablaze, the feeling of your insides burning and melting away was excruciating, breaking the remnants of your already shattered mind. Millenniums passed and you never got used to the pain. This pain that you couldn’t fight or attenuate. This pain that, with each passing century, fed on your sanity and created the monster that you were now. This pain that clearly wanted you to die, but something else within every cell of your being was fighting fiercely against it. Making you live. Live in pain. _It hurts._

The once warm body of the young lady was now cold, the room now bathed in moonlight instead of sun rays. Getting up, you barely noticed how your clothes stuck to your body, enormous patches of dried blood keeping them glued to your skin. You staggered on your feet as the world shifted and your vision filled with dark fireflies. You took a deep breath and made your way up the stairs where you knew you could find a change of clothes. As you reached the stairs, your eyes caught movement out of the kitchen window. 

Two tall white-haired men forced the lock of the store next door. Their expressions weren’t visible in the darkness of the alley, but the dim light of a nearby lamppost reflected on the guns badly hidden under their coats. 

A new wave of blood lust drowned your senses, replacing your hurting thoughts with angry ones. Rushing out of the apartment, you made your way to the slightly open door, thinking how unfair it was that everyone around you could die with something as simple as a bullet or a stab wound, yet you couldn’t. _It hurts._

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a large form blocking your view. Steely-blue eyes glared at you, the knife in his hand shining under the neons above, ready to pierce your heart in one swift movement if you were to make a move towards them. You weren’t intimidating in any way, your petite form along with your soft features wasn’t why the giant was alert. 

Not only was your entire front almost covered in blood, but the atmosphere around you was definitely the most dangerous he ever encountered. The hair on his neck and arms raised as soon as your gaze found his. Once before had he felt like that, the faithful evening he and his brothers were doing check-ups on their traps set into the woods in hope of having a nice dinner the day after. Otto remembered the fear he felt when they were met with a lone-wolf missing a back leg, said leg still stuck into the fangs of their trap. A tingling sensation around the scar of his eye disturbed the Swede, the vivid memory of his flesh being slashed open flashing before his eyes. He remembers the desperation and insanity glazing the yellow eyes of the wolf, the same desperation and insanity that were dancing in your own (e/c) ones. What was terrifying him was the intelligence hidden under the surface. You were a predator in disguise-

Screams resonated through the room as Axel started to torture the ally of their brother’s murderer, surely thinking that Otto had the matter under control. Your head turned back on the bloody scene unfolding before you, allowing Otto to fill his lungs with air, the first time in almost a minute. Otto stiffened as you moved, relaxing a little when you made your way to the other side of the room to sit on a sofa.

“I won’t steal your prey.” Your eyes were fixed on the man being tortured, the blood oozing from his nose and mouth. How the pain caused his muscles to constrict- “I just want to watch.” 

And watch you did. The giant’s attention was on you, but you couldn’t care less. You enjoyed every moment of the blue-coated man’s torture session, liking his style. You let them drench their washcloths with the dead man’s blood before making your way to the body. Out of habit, you reached for its neck, searching delicately for a pulse, even faint. Your nostrils flared when you found none, once again facing the injustice of your curse. His pain was gone while yours was still there. His torturer let him go while yours, whoever it was, kept you suffering day after day, year after year, and so on for… You didn’t remember for how long. You’ve been alive for so long that you didn’t remember why or when you were cursed. Wasn’t it unfair? Being cursed for a reason you didn’t even remember? _It hurts._

The barrel of a gun refreshed the burning skin of your temple for a moment, making you close your eyes in delight. The feeling was very short-lived, though, the fire intensifying to cover the pleasant sensation. You reopened your eyes to meet the two white-haired men, the tallest pointing you with his gun from a good distance, while the blue-coated one was close enough to touch your head with his weapon. You turned slowly towards them, the gun now pressing onto your forehead.

“No witness.” His accent reminded you of your time in Scandinavian lands. You could see his eyes analyzing your blood coated features, trying to understand how a beautiful young woman like you in her early twenties could appear as such a dreadful sight. You saw it for a split second, the hardening of his gaze, milliseconds before his mind decided that it was enough and his finger pulled the trigger. 

As the bullet entered the front of your skull, you wondered if your gaze hardened too just before you gave the final blows to your prey. Do they know when all hope is to be abandoned? 

You didn’t fall to the floor as the Swedish men expected. Nor did blood escaped the bullet wound into your head. Instead of blood, a blackish liquid escaped the hole into your forehead, tainting your red-coated skin with a viscous dark trail. _It hurts_.

“Too bad then. No one gets what they want.” You simply stated as if this was the most evident thing in the world. 

Out of respect for their handy work on the shop clerk, you tilted your head slightly in their direction as the wound into your head started to close slowly, your curse stubbornly keeping you alive and well, before walking away to explore the rest of the shop. You ignored how their footsteps were hurried or how they called you a demon in their native tongue, focusing instead on the files scattered under a coffee table. You didn’t know why you crouched to get them, but you did and you read them. Every page.

By the time you were done, you were seated at the edge of the sofa once again. A tall blonde guy and a dark-haired one entered the room, too scandalized about the dead body of their friend and the markings on the floor below to notice you reading one of the tv brochures you found lying around. When they did though, your reading material was snatched from your hands, and a knife threatened the skin of your throat. 

You had hoped that the metal would be as satisfying as the barrel of the gun was, but you had no such luck. You huffed in disappointment before dropping your hands to your knees. _It hurts._

“Who are you?” The dark-haired man pressed you, the sharp side of the knife digging slightly into your skin. 

You glared at him from your position, not impressed one bit. 

“If I tell you I’ll have to kill you.” You replied cockily. You could have fun before opening his throat with his own knife.

You expected the knife to cut your skin, definitely not for blondie to pull his buddy away and reach for you with his big hand. You gnashed as the hand approached you, both in anger and anticipation. Just as he was about to grab your neck, a blue flash enveloped him, and he reappeared in another flash, at the opposite side of the room. Behind the tall blonde, a younger boy with wide blue eyes watched, surprised. 

He returned to his senses when knife guy made a move towards you. _It hurts._

“Don’t touch her Diego!” He hurriedly yelled, teleporting before Diego and pushing on his chest to keep him away. 

“Move, Five! She killed Elliott!” He tried to push the boy but ended like the blond on the other side of the room. 

You got up, unsure of what was happening. Never in your endless life had you encountered someone who could teleport around.

“No, she didn’t! Didn’t you idiots see the ‘öga för öga’ down there? It’s Swedish for an eye for an eye. The Swedes killed Elliot.” He pointed at you, still facing the men. “She was a witness. She got shot in the head.” 

You frowned, intrigued that the boy seemed to know you got shot despite the absence of a hole in your head. Sure, the dark trail was still there, running from your forehead to the bottom of your chin, but there was no way he could have known that this was actually your very own cursed rotten blood. 

“How do you know?” Your voice shot into the room, quieting the heated argument between the three males. 

“Because I know you, Y/N.” You paused, hearing your name for the first time in centuries. He stopped, thinking his words through. “In the future, we are friends.” 

You frowned, debating the veracity of his words. In the future? He indeed looked from another time, in his weird clothing, but also because this time would have made a scandal about his powers. You had a hard time believing that you could have a friend. You huffed, shooking your head. 

“Impossible. How do you know my name?” 

The boy shot a glare to the men before turning toward you. 

“You told me, because like I said, we are friends.” He walked in your direction, stopping a meter away. “I know that you are cursed.” You perked up at that, caught off guard. “I know that you react very violently to anyone touching you because your skin burns even more than it already does.” He chuckled slightly, his gaze holding yours with something that shook you to your very core, softness. “I experienced it first hand. You broke my arm and would have choked me to death if I hadn’t jumped.” 

The softness in his eyes morphed into something else, something you weren’t used to. You never experienced it yourself, but you certainly witnessed it. Affection. It almost scared you off, the muscles in your legs wanting nothing more than to be of use and take you far away, away from his caring blue gaze. 

What kept you there was the blood on his face and shirt. Could he be like you? 

“Shit. We’ll talk more later. We have more important to do.” He turned to his brothers, a new urgency in his tone and movements. “I found a way to get back to our timeline.” He walked to a nearby room and you tuned them out, instead focusing on yourself. 

Could you trust him? He obviously knew you and you once were -or will be- trusting him enough to tell him about yourself. You never opened up to anyone before, your anger was way too great in your younger years. Now that you thought about it, you couldn’t even remember the total of number of people who died from your hands. _It hurts._

“What about doomsday?” Your head turned to the dark-haired guy, interested in his words. 

“Won’t happen.” 

“And the 2019 apocalypse?” 

“Everything will be back to normal.” 

What apocalypse? You watched them fuss around, totally confused. The boy stopped before you, presenting you his arm. _No, it hurts._

“I know fabric hurt less than skin to skin contact.” Your confusion was clearly written onto your face, forcing him to explain. “I’m taking you with me.”

You almost asked him why, but decided against it, a plan already forming into your brain. You grabbed his sleeve softly and in a second you were in the passenger seat of a car. The engine roared to life when the boy-

“What’s your name?” 

He turned to you, surprised for a second before genuinely smiling and turning back to the road. 

“Five.” 

“How old are you really?” He smirked.

“I knew you’d catch up quickly.” His eyes shifted from the road to you, lingering on your face like he was replaying some memories to himself. “58.” 

You hummed and turned to the window. You watched the buildings disappear, letting the trees stand high to the sky. The countryside road was a bit bumpy but you didn’t mind. You rolled down the window, letting the wind appease the fire under your skin for a little while. 

You had to admit that the silence between the two of you was pleasant. Maybe you really were friends.

“So an apocalypse is coming, eh?” You sit your back to the door, facing Five. You pulled your legs to your chest, your arms hugging them to keep them close so your chin could rest on your knees. You didn’t care that the dress you wore wasn’t covering the back of your tights, but it seemed that this detail was bothering him, his cheeks reddening quickly.

“Y-yes.” He turned back straight ahead and coughed to hide his embarrassment. “Our presence here created an apocalypse that will happen in a couple of days. Don’t worry though, I’ll stop it.”

You chuckled when you noticed him peaking back in your direction, his eyes clearly not focussing on your face this time. His blush spread from his cheeks to his neck and for the very last time, he turned his eyes ahead and kept them there. 

You reached a farm where two women were talking outside, without a care in the world. You waited for Five into the car, patiently planning into your head. Fortunately, Five didn’t think that this would take too long, so he let the car running, allowing you to turn up the radio volume slightly. 

Five came back and you were humming to a song, ignoring the fact that he was beyond pissed that one of the women didn’t follow him as he wanted. He drove the car back to the road, fuming but keeping it all inside, not wanting to cause you to stop humming to the songs. 

_You’re just too good to be true_

_Can’t take my eyes off of you_

_You’d be like Heaven to touch_

_I wanna hold you so much_

_At long last, love has arrived_

_And I thank God I’m alive_

_You’re just too good to be true_

_Can’t take my eyes off of you_

Now was the time. You lived your whole life, wanting this. To die, to find peace, to stop suffering. Five was the key. In fact, he was an obstacle. You couldn’t let him stop the apocalypse. You wanted to die and the apocalypse would grant your wish. There was no way your curse could protect you from that. _It hurts._

_Pardon the way that I stare_

_There’s nothin’ else to compare_

_The sight of you leaves me weak_

_There are no words left to speak_

_But if you feel like I feel_

_Please let me know that it’s real_

_You’re just too good to be true_

_Can’t take my eyes off of you_

You stopped humming, finally noticing that Five had stopped at the side of the road and was watching you intently, a smile at the corner of his lips. You opened your mouth to ask him what was wrong, frowning, until he cut you off.

“I know you don’t remember it because it didn’t yet happen for you, but there was a time when you stopped calling for death and enjoyed living.” 

You froze at his words, wondering if he could read thoughts too. _It hurts so much._

“You’re lying.” You couldn’t imagine anything worth enduring your suffering so why would he tell you that? To save his skin?

_I love you, baby_

_And if it’s quite alright_

_I need you, baby_

_To warm the lonely night_

_I love you, baby_

_Trust in me when I say_

_Oh, pretty baby_

_Don’t bring me down, I pray_

_Oh, pretty baby_

_Now that I’ve found you, stay_

_And let me love you, baby_

_Let me love you_

“I’m not. This song was playing on an old iPod when you told me.” You lifted an eyebrow at him, slowly positioning your legs to jump forward to kill him. “If you really think that the apocalypse will kill you, you are wrong. You survived and you met me there. That’s where we became friends.”

“Prove it.” Your heart was beating erratically, desperately wanting his words to be wrong. You wanted to be free. This life hurts. _IT HURTS._

_You’re just too good to be true_

_Can’t take my eyes off of you_

_You’d be like Heaven to touch_

_I wanna hold you so much_

_At long last, love has arrived_

_And I thank God I’m alive_

_You’re just too good to be true_

_Can’t take my eyes off you_

Five reached into his pants pocket, taking out a colored photo. The quality wasn’t god, but you could see yourself, curled up against a dark-haired man on a loveseat, holding his free hand while kissing his cheek. His smile reminded you of Five’s. 

Your eyes were fixed on your lips touching his face. How you seemed so unbothered by the fire eating at your nerves. This couldn’t be possible. Even the idea of doing it caused your own pain to accentuate. _Ithurtsithurtsithurts-_

“I found a disposable camera and used up the film. I kept it and when I came back in 2019 I had it developed.” 

_I love you, baby_

_And if it’s quite alright_

_I need you, baby_

_To warm the lonely night_

_I love you, baby_

_Trust in me when I say_

_Oh, pretty baby_

_Don’t bring me down, I pray_

_Oh, pretty baby_

_Now that I’ve found you, stay_

_Oh, pretty baby_

_Trust in me when I say_

_Oh, pretty baby_

The news hit you hard. Your body was shaking uncontrollably, tears ran down your cheeks, sobs escaped your mouth. It has been a while since you’d had your last breakdown although any one of them could compare to this one. At least, before you had hope that something, somewhere you finally end you. Your hopes were now crushed. _It. Hurts._

The pain in your shoulder exploded, earning a cry from your lips. Out of reflex, your fist shot straight ahead, colliding with his shoulder and successfully breaking the contact between the both of you. Quickly, you turned around and shot the door open in a haste, almost running away from him. You wanted to die. You wanted to die. You needed to- A flash of blue followed by Five’s appearance before you stopped you in your tracks abruptly, causing you to fall on your knees for the second time this day. 

Your desperation morphed into pain and your pain into anger. How dare he ruin your life? How dare he crush your hopes? If you could choose, you would have preferred to still have your hopes, at least they kept you going. What were you supposed to do now without anything to live for? _Please help me. It hurts._

“I’ll help you.” His voice was soft, as he was approaching a wounded animal. Well, maybe you were.

You were a wolf whose leg was trapped in a hunter’s trap. You would do anything to free yourself. You were desperate, you were insane, you were intelligent. 

And you were forgetful. 

It wouldn’t hurt to kill him. In due time, you would forget him. Like you forgot everything else until you became what you were now. Humanity’s wrath.

_Please, it hurts._


End file.
